ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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