I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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