goodnight i made you a song goodbye
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
