i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
