drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
