I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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