we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
