So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
