She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
