ya dads aren't the best wingmen
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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