There is too much vodka and too much dick.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
