He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
