there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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