What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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