He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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