sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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