You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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