did you get engaged???
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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