Just mADE A PArabola og urine
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
