she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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