just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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