that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize
