Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Watching her eat just hurts me
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
