I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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