He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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