Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
