So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
