The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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