anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
