You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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