it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
