the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
