if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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