OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Enjoy the penises
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
