I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
