dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Be still, my beating vagina.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
