My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
