you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
