She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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