Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
