If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you win again, gameday.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Randomize
