who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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