well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
