i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
