The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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