I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
