Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
