you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
