but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
