The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
