Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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