just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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