just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
