you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
foreskin is a definite game changer
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
