Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
