Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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